9 Things About Post-Partum That Moms Don't Always Tell You

Having a baby is such a new experience, that we often spend a lot of our time thinking about the baby and less time thinking about ourselves, and the effect childbirth will have on us.  That's why I feel it is important to discuss some of the less known occurrences post-partum.  Knowing these things happen to other moms makes it a little easier when you're going through it, and it can be hard (and embarrassing) to talk to other moms about what's going on with your body.  I recommend finding a strong support group of other moms that you can talk to and go to when you have a question or a problem.  It will definitely help you feel more secure about yourself after having a baby, and will also save you the trouble of weeding through Google results wondering if you should call a doctor or not.  It's a lot easier to take someone's word when you can have a conversation with them face to face.  Still, if you don't have someone to talk to, or are simply doing some reading to prepare for your life with your new little one, I hope this blog helps you out!

My Hair- 

When Lucas was about 4 months old, I noticed a bunch of hair at the drain when I took a shower.  When I would brush my hair, my brush was filled with my hair, even if I cleaned it out after each use.  It was also growing incredibly fast.  It made me feel incredibly insecure, but when I reached out, I found that a lot of my mommy friends had experienced the same thing.  I soon found out, as they all assured me, that after a couple of months, it stopped.  Now my hair is still incredibly long but I don't have to worry about a handful of hair every time I shower.

Joint Pain- 

As I stated in a previous blog, around 6 weeks after having Lucas, I started having severe joint pain.  My wrists, knees, hips, and shoulders hurt so bad, it made holding Lucas very difficult and even resulted in a few tear filled mornings.  It was always worst right when I woke up in the morning.  Stretches did not help, the only thing that helped me was time.  After a few weeks, my body started getting stronger and the pain went away.

Mommy brain-

I prided myself on my intelligence before I got pregnant.  Then, when I was pregnant, I started noticing how forgetful I was, and how hard it was for me to think things through.  I thought once I had Lucas it would get better, but truth is, it didn't.  Now, I find it hard to think things through because my mind constantly goes back to Lucas.  If he needs my attention, I have trouble focusing on cooking dinner, or writing on my blog, or even packing the diaper bag.  The best way I've compensated for this is list-making.  If I write things down as soon as I think of them, then I can keep referencing it.  I still call my mom and ask her to remind me of what I need to pack sometimes, but now that Lucas is a year old, I'm finally finding it easier to focus.  But part of me still knows that I probably will never be back to my full thinking capacity.

Hemorrhoids-

Gross, I know.  But I think a lot of mothers know that hemorrhoids can happen during pregnancy.  What I was not aware of was that they can stay after you have a baby.  The first few weeks after you have a baby, you have plenty to worry about, but they can stick around even after that.  You can use the usual remedies: soaks, cream, witch hazel pads, and pills, but they still might persist.  Make sure to visit your doctor if they become thrombosed.

Your Period-

After having a baby, you will bleed, A LOT.  This can last for days, and sometimes weeks.  Your doctor will give you guidelines of when you should be worried.  On the other side of the spectrum, if you are breastfeeding, you may not get your period.  It varies how long it will take for you to start up again.  Some nursing mothers start menstruating a couple of months after they give birth, while other nursing moms don't menstruate until after they've begun weaning their child.  This does not mean that you cannot get pregnant, so you should not consider breastfeeding a source of birth control.

Loss of libido-

After you've had a baby, it's natural to experience a loss in libido.  After all, you did just have a baby, you're experiencing body changes, your sleep deprived, and you may not feel as close with your partner.  But there are other elements that may cause a prolonged loss of libido.  If you go on birth control, the hormones delivered to your body can affect your libido.  Also, studies have shown that breastfeeding can decrease your libido as well.  Because of breastfeeding, you are not producing as much testosterone which usually increases sex drive.  Make sure to communicate with your partner and talk to your doctor if you are concerned.

Saggy breasts-

If you've decided to breastfeed your child, you may have noticed a sizable increase in your breast size.  To some this excites them and they are happy with their new bodies.  However, after a few months of breastfeeding, you can begin to notice that your breasts are no longer perky.  Once your child starts solids, and is not nursing as often, you might notice stretch marks and sagging tissue.  This can be saddening, but chances are, your partner does not notice nor care.  It is a small price to pay for giving your child nourishment.

Hunger-

When you were pregnant, your appetite may have increased, and if you're like me, you might have loved being able to eat as much as you wanted.  While you may feel the desire to drop the baby weight as fast as possible, you may also notice that your large appetite does not go away after having a baby.  If you are breastfeeding especially, your body is signaling to you that it needs those extra calories to help produce nutrients for your baby.  Don't let your desire to drop the baby weight make you deny your body the nourishment it craves.  You need to eat to keep your strength up as well as to help feed your baby.  Those extra pounds will come off faster than you might think!

PH Imbalances-

It's pretty obvious that things "down there" are going to change after having a baby, but one of the things you may not be prepared for is that your PH balance may shift.  You may find dryness, itchiness, and worry that you have a yeast infection.  Talk to your doctor if these problems persist.  Your doctor will probably insist on a urine sample to test you for yeast infections or vaginal bacteria.  Make sure to wear breathable cotton panties, or go commando when you can to help.  You can also invest in a vaginal moisturizer or wash to help restore the PH balance.  Finally, eating yogurt has been shown to help with imbalances, as well as avoiding too much sugar and salty foods.  Make sure to communicate these problems with your partner as well.  Some mothers have reported pain during intercourse because of the increased dryness.

Feel free to comment below if you can think of any problems I may have forgotten (after all, I do have mommy brain!)

Post-Partum Joint Pain

When Lucas was around six weeks old, I woke up one morning to pick him up out of his bassinet and noticed my right shoulder was very tight. I lifted him out with some difficulty and proceeded to have our morning nursing session, while rolling my shoulder a little to try and loosen it up. Later that day, when I was burping Lucas, I noticed my right wrist was also incredibly sore. I flinched a few times while burping him, and then grabbed my wrist brace and put it on. I dismissed it as my carpal tunnel acting up. The next morning when I woke up, not only were those joints hurting, but my left knee made it incredibly difficult to even get out of bed. When nursing, I would sit in bed with the boppy pillow, sitting Indian Style. I had paid so much attention to making sure my back was in the proper position, I hadn't paid much attention to my knees. By the third and fourth days, when Lucas would wake up in the morning, Jeremy would have to pull him out of the bassinet for me. I was in so much pain, I had to attempt and switch holding Lucas to the opposite side as well as burping him with the other hand. It was difficult but I made due, until those joints started hurting as well. Now, with already being sleep deprived, and the house being a mess, this additional joint pain threatened to break me. I was in tears. I would take Tylenol on occasion, but I have never been one to take medicine unless absolutely necessary. I attempted yoga a few times while Lucas was napping, but more often than not, I ended up sleeping during his naps instead. So I decided to do what I always do when I have questions. I sought out answers.

None of the moms that I knew seemed to remember having joint pain around this time. They admitted to being sore, but I'm assuming that their sleep deprivation was stuck in their memory more than having a few stiff joints. I knew it made sense for me to have stiff joints. I mean, of course you're going to be stiff when you start carrying a 7-10 lb baby around all day. But I figured with some exercise or stretching, the pain would subside. When I googled post-partum joint pain, the results were a lot of people talking about having it, but not a lot of answers as to why, or how to relieve it. I had my six week checkup that week, and asked my doctor, and finally got some answers.

There is definite reason why a lot of moms experience post-partum joint pain but there are two speculations. One is what I previously stated; it is perfectly normal for your muscles and joints to get stiff in adjustment to your carrying around a baby. You spent the past 9-10 months with extra weight and had the pain and stiffness that came with that, so it is to be expected that after delivering there will need to be adjustments made as well. Now you are also using muscles that you haven't used as often in the past few months. You are carrying a baby in your arms, you are lifting them out of their bassinet and putting pressure on your shoulders, you are nursing and putting pressure on your back. 

The second speculation for the joint pain is that around 6 weeks your body finally ridding itself of the hormone Relaxin. Relaxin is a hormone emitted during pregnancy to help loosen your ligaments so you can grow to accommodate the baby. Simply put, your ligaments have gone soft during pregnancy and around this time they begin to firm up again, causing you pain. 

I wish I could tell you of some miracle cure that helped heal me from this post partum joint pain, but the truth is, I don't even remember how long it lasted. From what I can remember of those first few months, I'd speculate my joint pain lasted from Lucas being 6 weeks old, until he was about 9 weeks old. However, from what little research I have found on the subject, apparently the pain can last up until around 6 months. 

My recommendations to you if you are suffering from post-partum joint pain are simple. Take it easy. I know that it is tempting around this time to go a little crazy. The initial thrill has worn off, so yor family is not around as much. You have gotten the hang of how long your little one sleeps and when. It is very tempting to use this time to catch up on all that housework you have put off. I'm not telling you to ignore it (or there would probably be a lot of grumpy husbands). I'm simply telling to conquer it in moderation. You should be taking it easy around this time anyway. I suggest allotting one nap time to doing one or two easy tasks around the house. Maybe put one load of laundry in and wash some dishes. Maybe dust the house and wipe down some counters. But I would not recommend deciding you are going to do 6 loads of laundry, clean out the closet, scrub the bathtub, and clean the ceiling fans. Take it easy and do a little at a time, and then use the other nap times to do things for yourself.

Around this time I could count on Lucas to have about 3 naps. The first I would use to nap myself. The second I would use to eat lunch and then AFTER I ate j would do some sort of cleaning. The third I would use for myself, whether it be reading, taking a quick bath, tweezing my eyebrows, or taking yet another nap. I admit I went crazy in the beginning with the cleaning and I paid for it by not being able to pick my baby up without grimacing for at least two weeks. Trust me as a mommy who still remembers the pain, the cleaning can wait, those little moments with your little one cannot. You may not remember the pain later, but things are hard enough in the beginning for a new mom, why add to it?