9 Things About Post-Partum That Moms Don't Always Tell You

Having a baby is such a new experience, that we often spend a lot of our time thinking about the baby and less time thinking about ourselves, and the effect childbirth will have on us.  That's why I feel it is important to discuss some of the less known occurrences post-partum.  Knowing these things happen to other moms makes it a little easier when you're going through it, and it can be hard (and embarrassing) to talk to other moms about what's going on with your body.  I recommend finding a strong support group of other moms that you can talk to and go to when you have a question or a problem.  It will definitely help you feel more secure about yourself after having a baby, and will also save you the trouble of weeding through Google results wondering if you should call a doctor or not.  It's a lot easier to take someone's word when you can have a conversation with them face to face.  Still, if you don't have someone to talk to, or are simply doing some reading to prepare for your life with your new little one, I hope this blog helps you out!

My Hair- 

When Lucas was about 4 months old, I noticed a bunch of hair at the drain when I took a shower.  When I would brush my hair, my brush was filled with my hair, even if I cleaned it out after each use.  It was also growing incredibly fast.  It made me feel incredibly insecure, but when I reached out, I found that a lot of my mommy friends had experienced the same thing.  I soon found out, as they all assured me, that after a couple of months, it stopped.  Now my hair is still incredibly long but I don't have to worry about a handful of hair every time I shower.

Joint Pain- 

As I stated in a previous blog, around 6 weeks after having Lucas, I started having severe joint pain.  My wrists, knees, hips, and shoulders hurt so bad, it made holding Lucas very difficult and even resulted in a few tear filled mornings.  It was always worst right when I woke up in the morning.  Stretches did not help, the only thing that helped me was time.  After a few weeks, my body started getting stronger and the pain went away.

Mommy brain-

I prided myself on my intelligence before I got pregnant.  Then, when I was pregnant, I started noticing how forgetful I was, and how hard it was for me to think things through.  I thought once I had Lucas it would get better, but truth is, it didn't.  Now, I find it hard to think things through because my mind constantly goes back to Lucas.  If he needs my attention, I have trouble focusing on cooking dinner, or writing on my blog, or even packing the diaper bag.  The best way I've compensated for this is list-making.  If I write things down as soon as I think of them, then I can keep referencing it.  I still call my mom and ask her to remind me of what I need to pack sometimes, but now that Lucas is a year old, I'm finally finding it easier to focus.  But part of me still knows that I probably will never be back to my full thinking capacity.

Hemorrhoids-

Gross, I know.  But I think a lot of mothers know that hemorrhoids can happen during pregnancy.  What I was not aware of was that they can stay after you have a baby.  The first few weeks after you have a baby, you have plenty to worry about, but they can stick around even after that.  You can use the usual remedies: soaks, cream, witch hazel pads, and pills, but they still might persist.  Make sure to visit your doctor if they become thrombosed.

Your Period-

After having a baby, you will bleed, A LOT.  This can last for days, and sometimes weeks.  Your doctor will give you guidelines of when you should be worried.  On the other side of the spectrum, if you are breastfeeding, you may not get your period.  It varies how long it will take for you to start up again.  Some nursing mothers start menstruating a couple of months after they give birth, while other nursing moms don't menstruate until after they've begun weaning their child.  This does not mean that you cannot get pregnant, so you should not consider breastfeeding a source of birth control.

Loss of libido-

After you've had a baby, it's natural to experience a loss in libido.  After all, you did just have a baby, you're experiencing body changes, your sleep deprived, and you may not feel as close with your partner.  But there are other elements that may cause a prolonged loss of libido.  If you go on birth control, the hormones delivered to your body can affect your libido.  Also, studies have shown that breastfeeding can decrease your libido as well.  Because of breastfeeding, you are not producing as much testosterone which usually increases sex drive.  Make sure to communicate with your partner and talk to your doctor if you are concerned.

Saggy breasts-

If you've decided to breastfeed your child, you may have noticed a sizable increase in your breast size.  To some this excites them and they are happy with their new bodies.  However, after a few months of breastfeeding, you can begin to notice that your breasts are no longer perky.  Once your child starts solids, and is not nursing as often, you might notice stretch marks and sagging tissue.  This can be saddening, but chances are, your partner does not notice nor care.  It is a small price to pay for giving your child nourishment.

Hunger-

When you were pregnant, your appetite may have increased, and if you're like me, you might have loved being able to eat as much as you wanted.  While you may feel the desire to drop the baby weight as fast as possible, you may also notice that your large appetite does not go away after having a baby.  If you are breastfeeding especially, your body is signaling to you that it needs those extra calories to help produce nutrients for your baby.  Don't let your desire to drop the baby weight make you deny your body the nourishment it craves.  You need to eat to keep your strength up as well as to help feed your baby.  Those extra pounds will come off faster than you might think!

PH Imbalances-

It's pretty obvious that things "down there" are going to change after having a baby, but one of the things you may not be prepared for is that your PH balance may shift.  You may find dryness, itchiness, and worry that you have a yeast infection.  Talk to your doctor if these problems persist.  Your doctor will probably insist on a urine sample to test you for yeast infections or vaginal bacteria.  Make sure to wear breathable cotton panties, or go commando when you can to help.  You can also invest in a vaginal moisturizer or wash to help restore the PH balance.  Finally, eating yogurt has been shown to help with imbalances, as well as avoiding too much sugar and salty foods.  Make sure to communicate these problems with your partner as well.  Some mothers have reported pain during intercourse because of the increased dryness.

Feel free to comment below if you can think of any problems I may have forgotten (after all, I do have mommy brain!)

Breastfeeding Success

Now that my son is a year old, I consider my experience breastfeeding him a success.  Throughout his first year, I only had minor incidences that were easily resolved.  I've experienced pain while breastfeeding, engorgement, mastitis, and milk blisters, etc. I've also dealt with his teething and a couple of nursing strikes.  But to me, the hardest part about breastfeeding was the beginning.

When I was still pregnant with Lucas, I was incredibly nervous about breastfeeding.  I read several articles about how to breastfeed, and how to succeed at breastfeeding.  I watched videos online about breastfeeding as well.  I was so focused on the breastfeeding aspect of his first few weeks, that when pregnant I had several dreams about breastfeeding.  In fact, one night I actually had a dream about breastfeeding my cat.  It was agonizing worrying about something that I could only prepare for by reading.  I couldn't borrow a baby and breastfeed with them to practice.  I couldn't practice with a doll.  It was something that I had to wait and see if I was going to be able to do it.

I think part of this fear came from the pressure that new moms are subjected to when it comes to breastfeeding their baby.  We are told from the get go that "Breast is best" and that if we formula feed our babies that they are going to grow up unhealthy and not as intelligent.  They suggest that formula fed babies are not as nurtured as breastfed babies.  It adds so much extra pressure to a new mom when breastfeeding is not going well, because they are afraid that they have failed their child.  Being a new mom is hard enough without this added pressure.

There is a burden for a new mom as well if they are encountering pain in the beginning of breastfeeding.  I've read the books, and the articles, and a fair amount of them say that if you are experiencing any pain, chafing, or bleeding when breastfeeding, then you are doing it wrong.  These articles act like breastfeeding tickles.  They act like if you are experiencing any discomfort that you should pull your baby away from your breast and then readjust baby's latch until it no longer hurts.  I am here to tell you new mommies, even if you are doing everything right, sometimes, it still hurts.  I was told by doctors, and lactation consultants that Lucas' latch was perfect.  For the first few weeks, I stared at him when he was latching, studying him to ensure that he was still doing it the right way.  When he cut his first tooth and I started experiencing discomfort, I finally saw a slight change in his latch and was able to fix it.  But, in the beginning, his latch was perfect, and I was still in pain.  There were nights I would be nursing him, and I would be holding Jeremy's hand while he slept, squeezing it, trying to grit through the pain.  There was nothing wrong with his latch.  My body was getting used to nursing, and nursing every 2-3 hours, every day.  Your body needs time to adjust.  Don't panic and think that you are doing something wrong.  Don't feel guilty.  Check that the latch is okay, consult a lactation consultant, and then stick with it if you can.  But if you can't, that's okay too.  We mommies have to stick together, and while I am incredibly glad I breastfed Lucas, I promise I'm not going to shame you and think less of you if you don't breastfeed your child.

This brings me to my ultimate point of this entry.

My secret to breastfeeding success.

I do not think that my success is attributed to all the reading I did.  Honestly, I think I was very lucky that Lucas latched correctly, and I was lucky that I did not have a significant amount of discomfort in the beginning.  I have watched people struggle through the first few months of nursing, and count my blessings I was not one of them.  But there is one thing that I did that I believe is how I succeeded in breastfeeding through the first year of Lucas' life (I am still currently breastfeeding him as well).

My secret is...I had to.  From the moment that I became pregnant, I knew I had to breastfeed.  I'll admit that I was incredibly skinny before pregnancy, and the appeal of losing calories breastfeeding appealed to me, but that was not my reasoning either.  I had to breastfeed because, we would have never been able to raise a child with our income if we were buying formula.  We did our baby budget in the beginning, and had no idea how we were going to be able to afford it.  We lucked out that I was able to work until I was 9 months pregnant.  We were lucky that we had incredibly supportive and helpful parents who were able to buy us a crib, a changing table, a stroller, a car seat, etc.  We were blessed to have a diaper raffle at our baby shower and did not have to purchase diapers for Lucas until he was over 6 months old.  Until Lucas was about 8 months, we actually did not purchase a lot for him.  We bought a few outfits for him for the first few months of his life, but most of Lucas' things were hand-me-downs from friends, or items we received from our family and friends.  So, from the get-go, we knew that we would not have been able to afford formula.  Granted, if I had not been able to breastfeed, we would have had to budget again and get some help from our family.  Trust me, our child would never have starved, his grandparents and parents love him too much to ever have let that happen.  But every night that I was having difficulty, the prominent thought in my head was, I HAVE to do this.  I CANNOT give up.  We had some formula back-up in case, but I knew I wouldn't need it.  Having the mindset that this is something that you have to do, helped.  But I wasn't guilted into that mindset.  I never thought to myself, "I HAVE to do this, or my child will be stupid," or "I have to do this because it means I love my child more."  I simply had to do it because I had to.  Now, when I reflect back on those late nights, I know that was what got me through it.

We are in a better financial situation now, and we could afford to wean Lucas if we wanted, but I don't want to yet.  This was something I was able to provide for him, and it didn't cost a thing.  At the end of the day, the gifts we give our children that don't cost any money, are usually the best gifts we can give them anyway.  Our attention, our love, and...breastfeeding.