Post-Partum Joint Pain

When Lucas was around six weeks old, I woke up one morning to pick him up out of his bassinet and noticed my right shoulder was very tight. I lifted him out with some difficulty and proceeded to have our morning nursing session, while rolling my shoulder a little to try and loosen it up. Later that day, when I was burping Lucas, I noticed my right wrist was also incredibly sore. I flinched a few times while burping him, and then grabbed my wrist brace and put it on. I dismissed it as my carpal tunnel acting up. The next morning when I woke up, not only were those joints hurting, but my left knee made it incredibly difficult to even get out of bed. When nursing, I would sit in bed with the boppy pillow, sitting Indian Style. I had paid so much attention to making sure my back was in the proper position, I hadn't paid much attention to my knees. By the third and fourth days, when Lucas would wake up in the morning, Jeremy would have to pull him out of the bassinet for me. I was in so much pain, I had to attempt and switch holding Lucas to the opposite side as well as burping him with the other hand. It was difficult but I made due, until those joints started hurting as well. Now, with already being sleep deprived, and the house being a mess, this additional joint pain threatened to break me. I was in tears. I would take Tylenol on occasion, but I have never been one to take medicine unless absolutely necessary. I attempted yoga a few times while Lucas was napping, but more often than not, I ended up sleeping during his naps instead. So I decided to do what I always do when I have questions. I sought out answers.

None of the moms that I knew seemed to remember having joint pain around this time. They admitted to being sore, but I'm assuming that their sleep deprivation was stuck in their memory more than having a few stiff joints. I knew it made sense for me to have stiff joints. I mean, of course you're going to be stiff when you start carrying a 7-10 lb baby around all day. But I figured with some exercise or stretching, the pain would subside. When I googled post-partum joint pain, the results were a lot of people talking about having it, but not a lot of answers as to why, or how to relieve it. I had my six week checkup that week, and asked my doctor, and finally got some answers.

There is definite reason why a lot of moms experience post-partum joint pain but there are two speculations. One is what I previously stated; it is perfectly normal for your muscles and joints to get stiff in adjustment to your carrying around a baby. You spent the past 9-10 months with extra weight and had the pain and stiffness that came with that, so it is to be expected that after delivering there will need to be adjustments made as well. Now you are also using muscles that you haven't used as often in the past few months. You are carrying a baby in your arms, you are lifting them out of their bassinet and putting pressure on your shoulders, you are nursing and putting pressure on your back. 

The second speculation for the joint pain is that around 6 weeks your body finally ridding itself of the hormone Relaxin. Relaxin is a hormone emitted during pregnancy to help loosen your ligaments so you can grow to accommodate the baby. Simply put, your ligaments have gone soft during pregnancy and around this time they begin to firm up again, causing you pain. 

I wish I could tell you of some miracle cure that helped heal me from this post partum joint pain, but the truth is, I don't even remember how long it lasted. From what I can remember of those first few months, I'd speculate my joint pain lasted from Lucas being 6 weeks old, until he was about 9 weeks old. However, from what little research I have found on the subject, apparently the pain can last up until around 6 months. 

My recommendations to you if you are suffering from post-partum joint pain are simple. Take it easy. I know that it is tempting around this time to go a little crazy. The initial thrill has worn off, so yor family is not around as much. You have gotten the hang of how long your little one sleeps and when. It is very tempting to use this time to catch up on all that housework you have put off. I'm not telling you to ignore it (or there would probably be a lot of grumpy husbands). I'm simply telling to conquer it in moderation. You should be taking it easy around this time anyway. I suggest allotting one nap time to doing one or two easy tasks around the house. Maybe put one load of laundry in and wash some dishes. Maybe dust the house and wipe down some counters. But I would not recommend deciding you are going to do 6 loads of laundry, clean out the closet, scrub the bathtub, and clean the ceiling fans. Take it easy and do a little at a time, and then use the other nap times to do things for yourself.

Around this time I could count on Lucas to have about 3 naps. The first I would use to nap myself. The second I would use to eat lunch and then AFTER I ate j would do some sort of cleaning. The third I would use for myself, whether it be reading, taking a quick bath, tweezing my eyebrows, or taking yet another nap. I admit I went crazy in the beginning with the cleaning and I paid for it by not being able to pick my baby up without grimacing for at least two weeks. Trust me as a mommy who still remembers the pain, the cleaning can wait, those little moments with your little one cannot. You may not remember the pain later, but things are hard enough in the beginning for a new mom, why add to it?

Acid Reflux During Pregnancy, and My Surprising Remedy

We've all heard the old wives' tales about pregnancy. If you crave salty foods over sweets, you're having a boy. If you break out, you're having a girl. And one of the common tales I heard while pregnant was if you have acid reflux during pregnancy, your kid will have a lot of hair. 

Where's all the hair???

When I was pregnant, as soon as I started actually getting big, I developed acid reflux. I had it before pregnancy on rare occasions, but as soon as I hit the second trimester, there is was, a constant reminder that everything I put in my mouth was not agreeing with me.

Now, I tried the dietary changes. But I also had been about 110 lbs most of my adult life and being pregnant to me, was also a time to celebrate that I could eat pretty much whatever I wanted. I watched what I ate yes. My lunchtimes were full of healthy salads with spinach, edamame and other super foods. I wasn't eating ice cream and McDonald's everyday. But, if I got a craving for Long John Silver's, I sent Jeremy to get Long John's.

When the acid reflux started rearing it's ugly head, I started watching what I was eating more closely. I got a nice bottle of Tums and hoped for the best. Soon enough, I was taking entirely too many tums. It would help but only for an hour or so. Nighttime was miserable for me, so I tried sleeping on my left side or sleeping with my upper half elevated. Still, I'd wake up burping that disgusting vomit taste that burnt my throat so badly, I'd be crying. I started to look up different remedies I could take. Did you know it is actually dangerous to take too many Tums because it can leach the magnesium from your bones? I didn't want to do anything like that! I was all about protecting my baby. The doctor gave me another recommendation for a chewable that is actually now off the market (I can't remember the name, but I remember my next doctor had a face of horror when I said I had been taking it. Apparently it causes some major bowel problems, as I found out all too quickly.) I started back in my research for natural remedies. During work, I chewed gum (it increases salva production which is supposed to help clear the acid). I also tried drinking lemon juice and water in the morning before work and apple juice at work. I even tried some apple cider vinegar. Nothing worked. All these solutions were temporary, and I was already becoming majorly sleep deprived.

They say not to eat close to bed, but my work schedule did not allow that. I tried to stay awake for a couple of hours after eating, but often I'd fall asleep sitting up watching TV. I was eating only bland food with barely any seasoning (Jeremy was not happy). I tried eating pickles, and in the middle of the night I would even swallow spoonfuls of honey. I drank chamomile tea. I avoided caffeine. I ate small meals. Nothing worked.

Then, I finally discovered my magic remedy. One night in desperation at 3am, I put a tablespoon of baking soda in a glass of water. I took a big gulp and immediately felt relief. I slept like a baby that night. For the rest of my pregnancy, I would make myself one glass of water with a little bit of baking soda mixed in. Anytime I felt that nasty burp coming, I'd take a sip. I wasn't drinking it constantly. That, actually would have been a terrible idea. You see, baking soda helps you retain water, a problem most pregnant women already have. So, if any of my readers try this, I will tell you to only do it in moderation and to keep an eye out for any swelling. But for me, it worked. After a few weeks, I noticed I never even finished the whole glass, so I started putting a pinch of baking soda in a glass of water and drinking the whole thing. That would usually get me through the night. It was amazing to finally feel better! 

Now I'm not telling my readers to skip all other home remedies. In fact, you should try some if you are having problems with acid reflux. Also, make sure to talk to your doctor about your problems. They may be able to better guide you, I am not a medical professional. I simply wanted to inform you of what worked for me, as well as give you a list of what I tried so if you're experiencing problems you can try some for yourself and find out what works best for you.  

So here it is:

My List of Acid Reflux Remedies

Lifestyle Changes- 

Adjust your diet

Sleep on left side

Sleep with head elevated

Avoid trigger foods and caffeine

Avoid eating close to bedtime 

Eat small more frequent meals

Over the Counter Aids- 

Tums

Mylanta

Maalox

Prevacid

Food or Drinks to Counteract-

Baking soda with water (tbsp)

Apple cider vinegar (tbsp)

Apple after meals

Pickle juice

Lemon juice and water

Chewing gum

Spoonful of honey

Chamomile tea

Hopefully one of these remedies, or a combination will help you get some relief during your pregnancy. I am not a doctor, so please do not blame me if you do not find relief based on the items on this list, make sure you are talking to your own doctor for their recommendations as well.

And as for the hairy baby? Well I expected Lucas to look like Chewbacxa when he was born because of all the problems I had when I was pregnant with acid reflux. He was simply born with the tiniest mullet. So, I guess in our case, that old wives' tale was not true. 

Guest blog: When Labor Veers From Your Birth Plan

Brecca is the mother of two.  Her oldest child is a girl, Kylie, and her youngest is a boy, Patrick.  Patrick was born 6 weeks prematurely.  Brecca writes about the difficulty of having a delivery that was unlike her birthing plan.  She will also be doing another guest blog about the difficulties of raising a premature child.  

Generally, women start to think about their birth plan halfway through their pregnancy. I normally don't feel comfortable with anything unless I have set, detailed plan. But with my pregnancies I went with the flow. I never formally wrote my plan down with either of my children nor was either very detailed. However, what few things I wanted, I was very sure of: I wanted to labor at home for as long as I could stand it, I didn't commit to an epidural nor rule it out, I wanted to wait and see how bad the pain was and most importantly, I did not want to be induced no matter how past due I was and I did not want to have a c-section. But I'm sure as everyone knows sometimes plans work out and sometimes they don't.

With my first baby, everything I wanted ending up working out. I labored at home for 4 hours, longer if you count the hour drive to the hospital and the half an hour wait on the side of the road due to a flat tire. I ended up having an epidural so I could rest since we were in the middle of moving to a new place and I hadn't been able to sleep much the previous week. My daughter was born vaginally after 12 hours of labor and 20 minutes of pushing. Everything went according to my very loose plan. 

However 2 and a half years later, the birth of my son wasn't what I was expecting or planning. My son was due at the end of August but he was born 6.5 weeks early in the beginning of July. With him, I had to be induced because both our lives were in danger. My blood pressure was dangerously high and I was so swollen everywhere that my parents and even my daughter didn't recognize me. 

Almost exactly a week prior to his birth, I was diagnosed with preeclampsia.  After a 36 hour stay at the hospital, doctors decided it was a mild case and sent me home. Even though I stayed off my feet and avoided salt, it didn't stay mild for long.  After a few days I was so swollen that not even my husband's shoes fit me.  I constantly felt exhausted and sore everywhere. I was terrified the whole week because I knew I had to keep him in there as long as I possibly could to give him a better chance of being born alive and healthy. Every day felt like I was juggling chainsaws, like one tiny thing could happen and everything would go very wrong. Every night felt like  a victory since I had made it another day and my son was still inside my womb. That week was the most stressful and longest week of my life.

On the morning of July 9th I woke up feeling the worst I had yet. I had a routine appointment in the afternoon and decided to wait a few extra hours and go to the appointment rather than going to the hospital. After the nurse recorded my weight she took my blood pressure, it was dangerously high. She kept taking it over and over again to make sure it was correct. After she kept getting the same numbers she left to inform my doctor.  I must have been alone in the exam room for 5 minutes but it felt like hours. I knew what my doctor would say before she even came in; I needed to go to the hospital and more likely than not have to be induced or have an emergency c-section. As soon as the doctor walked in the exam room I started crying hysterically, I was terrified. After she calmed me down as best she could, my husband who was watching our 2.5 year old in the waiting room was called back and told to take me directly to the hospital.

My husband dropped me off in the emergency room where I was promptly transported up to labor and delivery and hooked up to a magnesium drip to try to get my blood pressure under control. Once settled in, I began to text my husband everything I needed him to bring me from home while he arranged a babysitter for our daughter. Within an hour the doctor on call decided that I had to be induced.

 It wasn't part of my plan at all; however, I didn't care what had to happen as long as my son and I were going to be okay. Thankfully the week prior I had gotten a steroid shot to help my son's lungs so they didn't have to wait 24 hours to start an IV with pitocin. I only knew 3 things about having labor induced; the contractions were irregular and more painful, it lasted longer than naturally occurring labor and c-sections were more likely due to the length of labor or it not progressing. I was assured that my chances of a c-section were slim not only because I had given birth vaginally before and because my son would be small but also because I was already mildly contracting before they began the induction. The other two things I thought I knew turned out not to be true in my case.

The whole induction process wasn't nearly as bad as the horror stories I had heard. While my contractions were irregular they weren't very painful at all and after the pitocin was started I was only in labor for 18 hours. Eventually contractions did begin to hurt and I ended up having an epidural because of a recommendation from my mom. Her logic was that pain increases blood pressure and mine was too high even with the medicine to lower it, it seemed it would be safer for me to relieve the pain. However, I did experience the worst pain of my life during the birthing process of my son and it wasn't from something I expected.

Magnesium is a wonderful drug for lowering blood pressure however it has two nasty side effects. One of which is nausea. I did end up getting sick twice though I'm not sure if it was from magnesium or from being in labor. My main issue with the nausea side effect was that I wasn't allowed to eat. I know, during labor no one is really allowed to eat or drink but my intake restriction lasted for 24 hours after giving birth. I was starving and one wonderful nurse ended up sneaking me some water and crackers during my observation period. The other side effect was the headache. I had the worst headache of my life without any real relief for two days thanks to it. When I mentioned my headache I was told it wouldn't go away until after the magnesium was stopped and that wouldn't be until after I made it through my 24 hour supervision in labor and delivery after my son was born. The only things I could do to slightly lessen the pain was have the lights low and have one of those ice pack pads they give you postpartum on my eyes. I think I went through 20 of them and looked really stupid but at that point I really didn't care as long as something could help. The headache was by far the most painful part of my son's birth and his birth was both more painful and less painful than my daughter's.

After almost 18 hours of labour I was only 5 cms dilated and my doctor decided to break my water before she had to leave to preform a c-section on another woman. Little did anyone in that room know that she would be delivering my baby before her scheduled c-section. Once my water was broken I informed the doctor that I felt extreme pain and the urge to push, she didn't believe me until she checked me again. Within a few seconds of my water being broken I had gone from 5cms to 10cms, fully dilated. She told me that I had to wait to start pushing until the NICU doctors came in and were set up. The pain of progressing so quickly, not having the epidural adjusted accordingly and fighting the urge to push was by far worse than any aspect of my daughter's labor. However, it hurt a lot worse with my daughter while pushing and birthing her.  She was 7lbs 2oz and tore me in the birthing process. My son however, was 4lbs and 3oz and easily came out after 2 pushes.

Thankfully my son was born healthy even though he was only 33.5 weeks along. As soon as he entered the world he screamed which was the most beautiful sound my husband and I had ever heard, it meant his lungs were functional. Unfortunately I only got to see him for a few seconds before he was rushed to the NICU. He looked small but better than I was expecting. He didn't look sickly or like a skeleton. It would be another 3 days before I would get to see him again in person and hold him because I had a long recovery ahead of me.

I had to stay in the hospital for 5 days after he was born. I was still considered to be in a critical period for 24 hours because preeclampsia can still be dangerous after giving birth. After a day of more magnesium and constant supervision I was moved from labor and delivery to the maternity ward. It then took another few days to figure out the correct dosage of my blood pressure medication and to make sure I was stable enough to go home. The swelling, which caused me to put on roughly 20 pounds of water weight, went away pretty quickly once I returned home. I would wake up 5 to 10 pounds lighter than when I went to bed. The hardest part of my recovery was not being with my new baby right away and having to go home without him. But that's another story all together.

 I wish I hadn't believed all the horror stories I had heard about being induced because it caused me unnecessary stress. I was so scared that I would be in labor for 72 hours before having to have a c-section and be in horrible pain the entire time. But in my experience, being induced wasn't any better or worse than my daughter's birth, it was just different. My birth plan may not have gone the way I wanted it to go but I am so thankful that both my son and I are alive and healthy, so it doesn't matter that it didn't go exactly how I wanted it to go.

Stay tuned for Part 2 of Brecca's story...

*The views and opinions of guest bloggers are not necessarily the opinions of those at JediMomTrix.

The First Few Weeks- When Expectation Meets Reality

What You May Not Want To Hear

When you hear about motherhood, you are usually provided with two images.  The first is the glowing, happy feeling.  The mom looking down on her newborn baby and smiling, so overcome with love and happiness.  Luckily media has also started portraying a different image.  The mom whose hair is a wreck, she's covered in poo and hasn't slept for weeks.  But seeing the latter image doesn't stop each pregnant woman from hoping, "that won't be me, I'm going to love my baby so much."  Then after you have your baby, you watch the mandatory shaking baby video and think to yourself, "there's no way i am ever going to be that frustrated."  But this blog entry is here to tell you, you're a fool.  And part of the reason that so many moms are getting Post-Partum Depression is because moms start motherhood off with pre-conceived notions of how it is going to be, and then end up disappointed.

Pre-conceived notions are your enemy.

Think about when you go into a situation expecting something.  Doesn't it make you so much more disappointed when it doesn't turn out the way you expected it?  I know I am incredibly guilty of this, and I know there are millions of women out there that do the same. Motherhood is the same.  You go into it thinking that you are going to have it all figured out.  Maybe you've done all the reading.  Maybe you've watched all your friends have babies.  Maybe you've always wanted to be a mom and feel like you're going to be a natural.

But then....

Your husband/significant other/baby daddy doesn't turn out to be as supportive as you thought he would be at 4am.
You end up getting incredible sore nipples during that 3am feeding and find yourself sobbing in the dark.
You can't remember the last time you put on deodorant.
You read your friends status on facebook about them going to a party and cry because you can't remember the last time you had a conversation with an adult.
You end up trying to rationalize with your baby "If you just went to sleep you wouldn't be so tired now would you?"

You might find yourself angry at your baby.  And then you are overridden with guilt because this is your baby, that you've wanted for as long as you can remember, and here you are mad at this beautiful little creature, who can't help it that they can't fall asleep unless you are holding them.

But I'm here to tell you, to stop feeling guilty.  Okay, okay, I'm not telling you to yell at your baby, or to shake your baby.  But I am telling you that you are not a terrible person for feeling discouraged or defeated. This happens to tons of mommies in the beginning, but we are taught that this feeling is taboo because having a baby is a blessing that not all get to experience so we should be grateful.

Yes, you should be grateful.  You should look at that beautiful baby's face as least once a day and thank your lucky stars that they are in your life.  All I'm saying is that it's okay to be crying in frustration when you're rocking your baby to sleep at 4am when all you want is to sleep for a consecutive 3 hours.  I'm saying it's okay to whine to someone about how hard breastfeeding is for you, or how upset you are that you're covered in baby pee and spit up and you don't know if you're going to get to shower today.  Because most likely, if your confidante is another mom, she will know exactly how you're feeling.

The issue here is that your expectations are meeting reality.  You are expecting to get a very specific diamond necklace that you've had your eye on for Christmas, and then you occasionally get a little disappointed when you look at the tiny silver bracelet you got instead.  You're still grateful for the gift, you think it's beautiful and you actually love it, but you get slightly upset because it isn't exactly what you thought you were going to get.  A baby is hard.  We go into pregnancy and labor with all these expectations of what it is going to be like, and when we hear the horror stories we dismiss them, assuming either they won't happen to us, or that once the baby comes we will forget all the bad and be overwhelmed with the good.  But that doesn't always happen.  Sleep deprivation and loneliness, and all sorts of other things result in frustration and disappointment.  So, I guess my purpose of this entry is for those moms-to-be to recognize that as much as you think you may know what you're getting yourself into....you have NO idea.  And the best thing you can do for yourself is not to develop all these expectations because it will be even more disappointing if things don't turn out that way.

Sure...you can imagine what it's going to be like to hold your baby for the first time.
And you can imagine what he or she is going to look like, and what songs you are going to sing to them, and all of that wonderful stuff.
Just don't be disappointed if the first time you hold your baby, he pees on you (that's what Lucas did to me).  Don't be disappointed if he gets your nose (and that was the one thing you absolutely did not want him to have of yours), and don't be disappointed if he screams every time you sing the one song you really wanted him to enjoy as a lullaby.  Because those are the little things you'll remember when he gets older, and you'll laugh at all the new moms who had so many expectations as well.  Don't waste your time with too many expectations, but more importantly, don't be so hard on yourself when YOU don't live up to your own expectations as a mom.  Because your little one is not going to remember you crying at 3am when he or she was 3 weeks old.  All mommies have those moments where they break down and wonder if they can handle the pressure.  But then your little one looks at you with his or her first gummy smile, or coos, or just squeezes your finger and then that supernatural mommy strength returns.

Don't let your expectations make you miss out on the beauty of reality.

Irritable Uterus- Yes, It Does Exist

My Irritable Uterus

Towards the end of my pregnancy, I started having contractions that I knew were not the typical Braxton Hicks contractions.  Each time, my nerves would skyrocket, and I'd set the timer on my phone.  Sometimes, two or three would be consistent, but most of the time I'd just have one contraction and then nothing.  There were a couple of mornings where I was convinced that these contractions meant that I was in labor, I'd tell Jeremy to keep an eye on his phone, or ask him to not even go to work.  Each time, after a few hours, the contractions would subside.  I started to panic, thinking I would never be sure of when I was really in labor.  I went in for one of my weekly check-ups, and as the doctor was checking my fundal height, he commented that he could feel I was having a contraction.  I mentioned that I had been having them intermittently for the past month.  He noticed that every time he applied any pressure on my stomach, I would get a contraction.  They were not incredibly painful, but they were uncomfortable, and definitely different than the Braxton Hicks I had been having.  The doctor determined that I had an IU, or an irritable uterus.  Despite the many different books and articles I had read about pregnancy and childbirth, I had read absolutely NOTHING about IU, and even as I went to google in attempts to find something out about it, the resources were quite lacking.  So I wanted to take some time to talk about this on my blog just in case any of my reader's has experienced the same thing, or is experiencing the same thing and has no idea what it is.

Differences Between IU, Braxton Hicks, and Labor Contractions

Let's explain what an Irritable Uterus is.  IU is when a woman has contractions but they do not have any effect on the cervix (so you are not dilating with each contraction).  Another difference between IU contractions and labor contractions is that with IU, the contractions are not usually consistent and can, at times, be constant.  My own personal experience was that, at times there would be a constant twitching and tightening in my stomach for sometimes as long as a half hour.  Other times I would have a contraction for a minute and then it would go away for half an hour and then return.  It was completely unpredictable, but different than the Braxton Hicks because the level of discomfort was different.  With Braxton Hicks you feel your stomach tighten and it can be difficult to breathe for a few seconds.  With my IU contractions, I felt my stomach tighten and there was a heavy pressure as well as cramping pain.  They were very similar to my labor contractions, except for the fact that they were not consistent and the level of pain did not increase as time progressed.  Finally, there are different triggers for IU.  For me, as I said before, anytime any amount of pressure would be applied to my stomach, I usually caused myself to have a contraction.  If someone touched my belly, if I was sitting in the car too long, if I had to squeeze past someone in the grocery store, there it was.

If You Have IU

If the doctor determines you have IU, depending on other risk factors, they may put you on bed rest or ask you to come in for weekly non-stress tests.  While there has not been a lot of solid research about IU yet, doctors have determined that at times it can trigger pre-term labor.  Luckily for me, I ended up not being high risk.  I did not need to be on bed rest, and I never went into pre-term labor.  In fact, I ended up being overdue by a week and half (though I didn't need to be induced).  While it caused discomfort and caused a few days of sleepless nights and a fair bit of tears, my experience with IU was more of a speed bump.  The most unfortunate part of it was that there was so little research done on it, and I had never heard of anyone having it.  When you're pregnant, books and other friends' experiences become your comfort, so being diagnosed with something that I had never heard of, and most people had never heard of, was very scary to me.  Hopefully my testimony and a little bit of information here will ease the mind of someone else who is going through the same thing.

More Information

 If you're looking for some more information, your best bet is to google IU and read the accounts of the few people who have actually gone through it.  You can also refer to these websites:

http://www.irritable-uterus.com/BH_vs_IU.asp

http://www.everydayfamily.com/irritable-uterus-vs-braxton-hicks/

Guest Blog- Motherhood and Depression

Nay is a mother of two beautiful children, a boy and a girl.  She has battled with depression and wanted to share her experience with my readers.  Post-Partum Depression is a prevalent problem, and often mothers do not seek out the help they need.  They feel ashamed and believe their feelings are unnatural and rather than ask for help, they bottle it up and end up putting themselves and their babies in danger.  If you or someone you know are feeling depressed, reach out to someone, whether it be a friend or family member, or by using the resources that Nay has suggested.  There is nothing to be ashamed of.


"Oh you have the baby blues."  

This was the response given to me after the pediatric nurse checked to see if it was possible for me to still nurse while taking a new anti-depressant.

What does a person say? Do I let her know it actually is much more serious than baby blues?  As a person with Major Depressive Disorder, do I mention that this is something that has plagued me since puberty hit?

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, women are 70% more likely to experience depression in their lifetime. This is the case for me.  Depression has plagued me since the age of 13, however I was not diagnosed until my freshman year in college. The stigma surrounding depression coupled with my family’s reaction to the admission of my suicide attempts was enough for me to convince myself that I had better suffer this thing in silence, because I did not want to be one of those people labeled ‘’crazy’’. This seemed to work for me, the ability to simply isolate myself until I had the desire to be a part of the world again was manageable. That all changed for me in 2012.  
The year started off perfect. I was a fulltime student with a GPA of 3.6 , I  was working full-time,  and a full-time mother to a toddler.  Life seemed to be going  in the direction I wanted it to go,  until I would wake up in the middle of a panic attack , or would be in the middle of work having panic attacks because I couldn’t understand  what was going on around me. I could no longer function or pretend that I was ok, I was unhappy and I wanted out. I was convinced I couldn’t cope anymore.  Even after scheduling an intake appointment with a therapist, Thursday was too far away for me.  I was convinced by my boyfriend that I could wait it out, ‘just focus on Thursday’ that’s all I had to do and I could get through the week. Then I got a call, my appointment had been cancelled.  How could an intake appointment be cancelled? I expressed that I had suicidal thoughts, I told these people I was depressed, I needed help. They just cancelled the appointment and that was it, the last straw for me. The one thing that was keeping me sane and it was gone, I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t function. Life had thrown me the last blow and I was ready to call it quits.

Thankfully that was the day that I checked myself into a mental health facility.

Having depression is like being trapped in a room you don’t want to be in.  You are often moody, sad, lethargic, and your interest in all things dwindles. Regardless of how many friends tell you to feel better, or that it’s all in your head, or to simply snap out of it, it’s not something you can do.  At times, knowing you are powerless to depression can cause you to be even more depressed.
As a mother you have to be at your best to provide for your children, to offer them love attention, support  and care, but what do you do when  you don’t even want to get out of bed? How do you engage with an excited three year old who wants to play? How do you explain your immense agitation to family and friends? A ten month old doesn’t understand that you don’t have the energy to move, let alone play peek a boo. With the little bit of fight you have inside of you, you get up and float through the  days and weeks, giving the bare minimum, praying  and waiting for this mood to pass you by.  You are waiting to feel normal again, to be excited by the things in your life that are obviously exciting, and to not find annoyance in small insignificant things.

Luckily there are ways a mother like me can deal with their depression.  There are many resources and some of them are even offered by your state, like the state Department of Mental Health.  You can go there and be connected with a mental health provider. One of the best resources is your primary care physician.  There are also many websites that offer useful information, such as signs and symptoms, the first steps to getting the help you need, and support groups.

www.nih.gov

www.cafemom.com

www.webmd.com

The views and opinions expressed by guest bloggers are not necessarily the opinions of those at JediMomTrix.

Your Baby and Reflux

Doctors say that every baby has reflux, but each baby has a different severity of it.  With Lucas, I'd say we were somewhere in the middle-top.  Lucas spit up a fair amount from the very beginning of life, but by the time he reached 3 weeks old, he started becoming very fussy.  One day, Jeremy left to go to work, and Lucas started screaming.  After an hour, I had to call Jeremy and ask him to leave work to come home because Lucas still had not stopped screaming, no matter what I did to soothe him.  When we addressed the issue at the doctors, they did not think he had a reflux problem because most of the time he was a happy healthy baby, and he was still gaining weight at a significant pace.  However, it soon became clear to me that after each feeding, Lucas would spend about half an hour fussing, and nighttime feedings became very difficult.

When you research reflux, one of the first things they tell you is to keep your child in an elevated position for half an hour after a feeding.  This became increasingly difficult for me as a new mom.  Lucas' nighttime feedings were averaging 20-40 minutes.  Between feeding Lucas, and then holding him and burping him for a half hour, usually by the time I was "able" to put him back down in his bassinet, he was awake and ready for another feeding.  I was scared at first to try falling asleep while feeding or holding him.  He was so tiny, I was scared I was going to crush him.  Finally, I found a perfect arrangement with my Boppy pillow and my body pillow, that actually held my arms up while I held Lucas.  I would slightly recline while holding him in the burping position, and allow myself to doze off a bit while patting his back.  This worked for awhile.
One day, Lucas began screaming again, and projectile vomiting.  We took him to the ER and they diagnosed him with pyloric stenosis.  When we went back to our pediatrician a few days later to inform him, he finally admitted that Lucas may have some reflux despite his happy disposition and weight gain.  He prescribed Lucas some Zantac, which helped so quickly, we actually ended up only using it for about a month.
There were several other methods we used to help alleviate Lucas' symptoms.  The problem with reflux is how uncomfortable it makes your poor child.  Here are a few tips and tricks to help get you through the first few months with a baby that has reflux.

Reflux Tricks-

Don't shy away from the medicine- I know it seems rash to give your newborn medicine
when they are so little, but it really does make a difference.

Elevate their sleeping area- Whether you use a wedge, or a towel, or even let them sleep a few nights in
                     the car seat, it will make them much more comfortable.

Test out different relievers- Try gripe water, gas relief drops, or different reflux medications like Zantac,
                     Prevacid, etc.

Sitting Position- When possible, hold your child in the sitting position instead of laying them on the floor.
                     This is what made the most difference for us.  Once we got used to having Lucas "sit" on our
                      lap during playtime, we didn't need the Zantac anymore.

Check your diet- Try eliminating some of the items that can make babies fussy such as milk, spicy foods,                          gluten, and broccoli. (My personal advice is not to go completely crazy here.  You need your
                     own nourishment as well, depriving yourself of things you enjoy can make you crazy, which
                     isn't good either, do this in moderation.  Try it out, see if it makes a difference, and if not move
                     on).

The Cereal Debate- I will get into cereal on a different blog post for a different day, but it is something that
                    some people/doctors recommend for helping with reflux.  My suggestion is talk to your doctor
                    about it, and then use your own instincts to decide whether or not you want to do it.

Pacifier-  This is controversial as well, but our doctor suggested we introduce a pacifier for Lucas so that
                   he was not overeating and aggravating his reflux.  The first few days he wanted nothing to do
                   with it, but then he eventually took to it and it did help.  Instead of using me as a human pacifier,
                   he nursed.  He continued to gain weight normally, and seemed less fussy in general.

More Frequent But Shorter Feedings- Try to burp your child in between feedings, and see if they are
                   willing to have a shorter feeding in exchange for feeding them more often.  One of the things that
                   made a difference for Lucas was for me to decrease his nighttime feedings once he was old
                   enough as well. He ended up sleeping much better, probably because his stomach pain wasn't
                   waking him up in the middle of the night.

Trust your Instincts and Try Different Methods- If you have a feeling something might work, give it 3
                   days. If it seems to cause improvement, continue it; if not, move onto the next thing.  Also, if
                   something didn't work once, try it again a few weeks later.  Babies change so often, and what
                   didn't work last month may help now.  Also don't be afraid of them becoming reliant.  If you
                   allow your baby to sleep a couple of weeks in their swing or car seat or even in your arms, that
                   does not mean they will never be willing to sleep in their crib.  Do what is best for your baby
                   and alleviates their pain, and worry about the rest when the reflux isn't as severe.  Trust your
                   instincts and do what you can for your baby.